Phun Kidz

Indiana Jones, spiders, and a T-shirt. This...

2011-09-12T11:03:00.001-07:00

Indiana Jones, spiders, and a T-shirt @ Threadless. This one is for Mel.

Dr Jones Phobia

Transparent Mice

2011-09-01T18:36:00.001-07:00

Transparent mice. Atsushi Miyawaki at the RIKEN Brain Science Institute has created a reagent using urea, glycerol, and soap that removes the pigment from cells. Although it only works on dead animals right now, they hope to refine it to work on live ones. How will cats hunt mice if they are transparent? Will we have to fit them with infrared goggles?

ScienceShot: The Invisible Mouse - ScienceNOW

Micro Tortoises

2011-06-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

Scientists have succeeded in taking the Galapagos Tortoise, one of the longest living reptiles, and creating a miniature version of it. Using a technique called Cellular Packing Reduction, they have eliminated 90% of the wasted space in the tortoise including unneeded fluids and gases. In addition, using a new Protein Refolding Vector, they have been able to recoup space that proteins and even DNA takes in the reptile's cells. Dr. Gray Steinkopf, a researcher at the Center for Advanced Cellular Automata in Atlanta who heads up this project, is quoted as saying, "It was a once-in-a-lifetime moment as a scientist. We are convinced that this new technique will provide benefits beyond tortoises. Imagine smaller pets or children--we could save significantly on energy and food for the entire planet." Steinkopf admits that the technique is at least 5 years away from commercialization and still would have to undergo significant FDA trials but the future looks promising.

Besides, they're so cute!

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P.S. Don't believe everything you read, kidz!

Amazing Stuff: Animated Gifs

2011-05-06T10:30:00.000-07:00

GIF (pronounced giff or jiff) is an image format that is quite common on the web--the acronym means Graphics Interchange Format. Most of the buttons on any web site are either GIFs or PNGs (pings). GIFs have a feature that allows them to loop endlessly and as such are a neat way to capture short bursts of successive images (sort of like a flip book). Images that take advantage of this feature are called "animated" GIFs. The effect can be mesmerizing.

Today's post by Amazing Stuff has a series of GIFs that demonstrate this principle. Mr. Spanky likes the one of the lady in the elevator pwning the purse snatcher. Justice is served!

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Spring has Sprung, the Grass has Rizz, I want my Springtime Eggs with Wizz

2011-03-21T19:09:00.000-07:00

From News365.cn:

Oh dear. These eggs in Dong Yang, China have been specially treated just for spring. Apparently they are more expensive and sell out quickly.

I'm not a fan of eggs unless they are fried dead "yolks broken, over hard" and even then it's a rare item to cross my breakfast plate. You could not pay me enough to eat these.

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Lip paint: twice as nauseating as a chipmunk grooming itself

2011-02-11T17:30:00.000-08:00

Must.. stop... sugar ...intake... having... glucose... overload...

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P.S. To my darling daughter MO: if you ever do this I will disinherit you and set fire to your room. Unless it is Halloween or you are trying for an insanity plea in some murder trial.

Daily dose of saccharin: slow motion chipmunk

2011-02-10T18:25:00.000-08:00

Even Mr. Spanky has to admit that this is incredibly cute for what is otherwise a miserable flea-bitten little tree rodent. It was the two pawed complete head rub at 00:18 that did me in. Link

Aphids: the Japanese Manga Stars of the insect world

2011-02-09T16:05:00.000-08:00

From the Boing Boing Flickr pool: link. Sort of looks like little green Domos. Per wikipedia: "Aphids, also known as plant lice and in Britain and the Commonwealth as greenflies, blackflies or whiteflies, are small sap sucking insects, and members of the superfamily Aphidoidea."

OMZG LOLCATS THIS IS SO QT!

2011-01-20T19:24:00.000-08:00

Om nom nom nom!

Rarely does Mr. Spanky indulge in sensationalism. Well, seldomly. Well, pretty much he'll do anything to drive traffic to his self serving blog. So this is just about the cutest cat you will ever see!

Not really. This is Mr. Chase No Face (disguised as an om nom nom nom) and is liked by 11,041 people on Facebook and rising. He had a small face erasing accident when he was young but is apparently quite happy. He needs eye drops frequently. Click the link to see his web gallery or scroll down to see what he really looks like.

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vvvvvvvv

I warned you!

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No really, go back!

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Aiyah. You are braver than my dog, Cala, who hurls herself at the patio door late at night to scare off evil possums.

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Delay tactic #1: Ok, a man, a dog, and a cat walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "we don't serve turkeys". The man leaves.

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Delay tactic #2: Squirrel!

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Ok, ok, Mr. Chase No Face is below:

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vvvvvvvv

Om nom nom nom!

Heidi the Cross Eyed Possum

2011-01-14T11:56:00.000-08:00

I don't like possums as a rule. They look like large rats--I am aware that they are marsupials and are technically opossums. More importantly, they skulk about in our backyard at night terrorizing our dog who hurls herself against the patio door windows barking furiously. I can only imagine that they have little possumy smirks on their faces as they do the equivalent of "na na na NA na" to the impotent canine. It works best at 2am when everyone is asleep. So you can see that I have little love for those that break my rest.

However, I have to admit that Heidi is actually in the cute category. You can befriend Heidi on Facebook here.

Cross-eyed opossum Heidi sits in her enclosure at Leipzig zoo in eastern Germany. Heidi, who is not yet even on public display, has become an Internet hit, winning more than ~~65,000~~ 150,000 "friends" on the social networking website Facebook.

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Using Your Head

2010-12-09T17:20:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that many of you kidz have had the opportunity to inhale helium and hear your voice go up several pitches like Alvin the chipmunk. Sulfur hexafluoride is heavier than air: what do you think will happen to your voice if you inhale it? If helium eventually leaves your lungs because it can easily be breathed out, how will you get the SH₆ out? Hint: you have to use your head.

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What's that soul sucking sound? Ah, it's Black Friday.

2010-11-04T19:54:00.000-07:00

Black Friday is the shopping day of the year here in the US where companies go from "being in the red" meaning that they are losing money to "being in the black". Typically retailers discount heavily, especially on consumer electronics, in a hope that in the post-Thanksgiving haze of stuffed tummies and dulled brains, that we pour the contents of our wallets out onto their counters in exchange for goods.

As Mr. Spanky is always on the prowl for the interesting and amusing, he came across this "coupon" that celebrates Black Friday.

The talented illustrator here is poking fun at our rampant materialism and reminds us that this obsession can never be satisfied and in the end becomes your owner. The picture of the cow is in reference to the golden calf created and then worshipped by the Israelites while Moses was up on the mountain getting the ten commandments from God (Exo 32:1).

It made the Spankster snort with suppressed laughter, much to his embarrassment, while riding the train home.

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Never Gonna Give You Up

2010-10-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

The word acrostic comes from the Greek words "akros" or top and "stichos" or verse. It is comprised of a series of letters, words, or letters at the beginning of every sentence or line of text that form a hidden message. Acrostics are commonly used as mnemonics so that we can remember things. Surely you know ROYGBIV for the colors of the rainbow or the sentence All Cows Eat Grass which denote the space notes on the left hand of the piano?

An enterprising college student decided to hide the lyrics to Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" in his paper on computer networking. It took him five hours. His father was quoted as saying "If only he had spent as much effort on his chores..."

Does anyone know of any other funny acrostics? If so, post a comment in the blog.

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna around or desert you...

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Giga Pudding

2010-10-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

Some things defy description. Mr. Spanky is at a total loss, mumbling "gigapuddinggigapuddinggigapuddinggigapuddinggigapudding" over and over again.

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Is it just me or did anyone else find the horde of gigapudding gobblers sticking their germ ridden spoons over and over into its bucket-sized jiggling mass, ignoring basic hygiene, incredibly disturbing? I need to go rinse my mouth with bleach.

The Elements Song

2010-10-08T13:29:00.000-07:00

The elements in the periodic table sung in Japanese. It's saccharin sweet!

This is an Easter Egg in the popular The Elements electronic book/application on the iPad which has now been translated to Japanese.

And here Mr Spanky thought that the elements were salt, sugar, fat, and caffeine. Go figure!

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Creepy Snake Robot

2010-09-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

According to Wikipedia, Biomimcry or biomimetics is the examination of nature, its models, systems, processes, and elements to emulate or take inspiration from in order to solve human problems. The brainy students at MIT have created a robot that mimics the movement of a snake not only on the ground but also climbing a tree. It's vaguely unnerving to see a machine act like an animal as it falls outside of what we typically expect based on our experience of typical gears and wheels.

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Internet Breakfast in Your Car

2010-08-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what they're putting into cars these days:

Here's a whole set of design questionable car doodads: link

The Lifestyles of the Rich and Liverliving

2010-08-10T08:25:00.000-07:00

The Oatmeal is the type of comic that Mr. Spanky can really laugh at. Often with liquids streaming out his nostrils if he's drinking and reading it at the same time. It can be somewhat irreverent: consume with caution kidz. Today the Oatmeal brings us the lifestyle of the parasitic flatworm known as Dicrocoelium dendriticum which is depicted nattily in all its gruesome hilarity!

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Water Balloon Time Warp

2010-07-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

A water balloon and a high speed camera. You can't get any more fun that this.

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Don't mess with Bambi's mother

2010-07-02T11:24:00.000-07:00

Kidz,

I'm pretty sure that we'd all be curious if we saw a fawn. We might want to touch it. GO would want to take it home and keep it in his room under the bed for fun. This video demonstrates why you have to be on the lookout for Bambi's Mom.

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BP Oil Disaster

2010-06-03T09:13:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty sure that most of you kidz have heard about the BP oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. From wikipedia: On April 20, 2010, a semi-submersible exploratory offshore drilling rig in the Gulf of Mexico exploded after a blowout and sank two days later, killing eleven people and causing a massive oil spill threatening the coast of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, and Florida.

The actual well is almost a mile under water and spewing oil into the Caribbean at the rate of 12,000 - 100,000 barrels (500,000 - 4,200,000 US gallons) a day. This is the worst oil disaster to ever happen in the US. Although BP has been trying to stop the flow of oil since the blowout, they have had no success.

To get an idea of the size of that disaster, there is a site called IfItWasMyHome, that maps the spill onto different parts of the world in a mashup with Google Maps. I've mapped it onto Calgary, Toronto, and San Jose so that you can see just how big the spill really is.

The original spill can be found here. If this isn't a good reason to get us off of oil and onto more sustainable and environmentally friendly alternatives, I don't know what is.

Baby Sloths

2010-05-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

Tremendous cuteness. Baby sloths at the Aviaros del Caribe sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica. The babies' mothers are typically are either run over or get electrocuted by powerlines.

Link

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.

A computer and a telephone went into a bar...

2010-05-04T17:43:00.001-07:00

Quote from Bjarne Stroustrup, the creator of the C++ programming language for computers:

"I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone.

Feel the power: Saturn V liftoff

2010-04-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Boing Boing has recently posted a video that shows a Saturn V launch (the first 30 seconds) as a full HD slo mo 8 minute video along with a commentary. Nerdtastic!

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Apollo 11 Saturn V Launch (HD) Camera E-8 from Mark Gray on Vimeo.

Mother Nature Roars

2010-04-19T15:10:00.001-07:00

It's not often that the output of a volcano can shut down the entire European airline system and cause governments to issue health warnings. The ash from Eyjafjallajokull in Iceland has drifted over Europe and has effectively made it impossible for planes to fly through the ash without clogging their engines. There are some eye popping photos of the eruption here.

Cicada Molt

2010-03-13T11:39:00.000-08:00

From Wikipedia:

A cicada (pronounced /sɪˈkɑːdə/ or pronounced /sɪˈkeɪdə/) is an insect of the order Hemiptera, suborder Auchenorrhyncha, in the superfamily Cicadoidea, with large eyes wide apart on the head and usually transparent, well-veined wings. There are about 2,500 species of cicada around the world, and many remain unclassified.

Better yet, there is a time lapse photo of the cicada molting about half-way down the page that is pretty darn cool from a bug lover's perspective. Mrs. Spanky expressed her concern over my hemipteric musings as follows: "Yew daft man, by all that is gud in dis werld, yew be the biggest wastrel I hever laid me eyes on."

(M.A.Y. this link is especially for you. Click it, no really, click it!)
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Teddy Bear Invasion

2010-03-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

Neat blending of real video and animation by Cyriak. Never ever be alone with a teddy bear.

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Why You Are Not As Awesome As A Dog

2010-02-25T11:22:00.001-08:00

Just found this cute comic called the Dog House Diaries. Mr Spanky is seriously amused.

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Ecofont: Save Ink, One of the Most Expensive Liquids on the Planet

2010-02-02T06:33:00.000-08:00

Did you know that printer ink is one of the most expensive liquids on the planet? It's about $500 a gallon, slightly more than champagne, nasal spray, and blood. Perfume is 5x as expensive and gasoline is about 40x cheaper. As his children print off glorious full color sheets on the home printer, Mr. Spanky's wallet is shrinking in concert.

Fortunately, the folks at Consumer Reports have lead the Spankster to Ecofont. Ecofont is to a regular font like swiss cheese is to cheddar. Is its nutty, sweet flavor is perfect with turkey and mayo on whole wheat? No! It has holes. The crafty engineers at Ecofont take every day fonts and punch holes in them. The holes are only visible close up--they tend to get partially filled as the surrounding ink seeps into them. The result, however, is less ink used! Although they have fonts for sale, they also have a free sans serif font, Spranq, for download. Now that's more in line with my budget!

Skeet for Big Boys

2010-01-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

Skeet. The sport of shooting at clay "pigeons" that are hurled upward in such a way as to simulate the flight of a bird. The pigeon must be 4.25" in diameter, 1 1/8" in height, and weigh 3.5 oz. It is thrown at high speed from a "trap" and then the sportsman tries to shoot it with a shotgun. Much more humane that using real birds and much less messy than using frozen ones. Mr. Spanky has many great memories of Pappy Spanky taking him down to the creek for some skeet shooting. Most of the pigeons escaped into the waves unscathed. Mr. Spanky usually wound up with a tired arm (our trap was manually activated, that is, I had to throw the pigeon using a hand thrower) and a bruised shoulder (due to his tender skin being pummeled by the recoil of the shotgun).

Alert reader SO recently made me aware of the technological advances of the sport especially in those with access to military hardware. This is skeet for real men or women.

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Happy Palindrome Day!

2010-01-11T15:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Palindrome Day, Phunkidz! When you look at today's date it reads as a palindrome, that is, something that reads both forward and backward the same way.

Can you tell me when the next palindrome day will be? First one to do so will receive 10 limited edition Phunkidz moo cards. You can give these to your friends and be the coolest kid on the block.

Simply comment on this post on the www.phunkidz.com site with your answer.

Christmas Tree and Rockets, Enough Said

2010-01-08T08:50:00.000-08:00

Reduce, reuse, recycle. We're starting to live these words more every day. These two bright lads took their Christmas tree, re-used it as a rocket, and then recycled it. I am torn between giving them award for cleverness and their environmentally friendly approach to the holidays. Ok, they get Mr. Spanky's green award of 2010.

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Sneezing Baby Panda

2009-12-23T11:16:00.001-08:00

This has received 47,485,527 views. Based on that information Mr. Spanky predicts that the end of the world is imminent. See Revelations for details.

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Alien is saved by Bran Flakes

2009-12-11T11:38:00.000-08:00

If only Sigourney Weaver knew the power of breakfast cereals in the rehabilitation of bloodthirsty creatures from outer space. Mr. Spanky awards this video three LOLs and a snort. Luckily, he wasn't drinking his coffee at the time he was viewing.

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Christmas Decorations

2009-12-09T14:27:00.000-08:00

Alert reader SO sent in this pic/story which sounds like something Mr. Spanky would have done if I'd thought of it first:

"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55-year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."

Why trampolines are not safe in Alberta

2009-12-07T22:26:00.001-08:00

From alert reader LO of Calgary, Alberta a dire warning: don't bounce until you've checked out the wildlife situation.

Zero Gravity Bow Wow

2009-11-23T10:40:00.000-08:00

Dogs, planes, and zero gravity. A new trend of case of airplane-incited pet abuse? Regardless, the Spankster finds this hilarious. What, do you think, is going through the dog's mind at this point?

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Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear

2009-11-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

The pholks over at Learn.Genetics, a website from the University of Utah, have a great interactive graphic on the size of things. It starts out with a coffee bean and ends up with a carbon atom. It's a very effective look at relative size and allows you to get an idea of scale. Who knew that our antibodies were so small relative to the bacteria they beat up? Go team! Check it out.

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Facebook Scam Artists

2009-11-08T09:02:00.000-08:00

Normally I'll blog about interesting, funny, or preposterous nonsense that I encounter in my varied travels across the internet-o-sphere. But today is not such a day. I am appalled at the breaking story at TechCrunch which details how Facebook games like Farmville and Mobsters is nothing more than an attempt to trick users into buying useless goods and siphoning off personal information to create further spam.

Although there are a variety of offenders by far the worst violator is Zynga. You think I'm making this up? Check out the very words out of the mouth of the CEO of Zynga as he spoke at a start up meeting in Berkeley: “I knew that I wanted to control my destiny, so I knew I needed revenues, right, [swear word], now. Like I needed revenues now. So I funded the company myself but I did every horrible thing in the book to just to get revenues right away. I mean we gave our users poker chips if they downloaded this zwinky toolbar which was like, I don't know, I downloaded it once and couldn’t get rid of it. *laughs* We did anything possible just to just get revenues so that we could grow and be a real business…So control your destiny. So that was a big lesson, controlling your business. So by the time we raised money we were profitable."

I will note that after this story broke that the Zynga folks were nice enough to say that they would consider not scamming you any more. After all, they will make 100 million dollars this year by suckering you and can stop being immoral now. Much appreciated.

So kidz, how could you possibly do anything about this? The power of the internet is in numbers and word-of-mouth. Pass this post onto your friendz. Urge them to stop playing Zynga games like Cafe World, Dragon Wars, FarmVille, Fashion Wars, Mafia Wars, Pirates, Roller Coaster, Scramble, Special Forces, Vampires, Word Twist, and YoVille! You have to hit them where it hurts: their pocketbook.

Now appearing on Twitter

2009-11-03T23:09:00.000-08:00

Kidz, if you are a fan of the microblogging site Twitter, Phunkidz blog posts will now appear on Twitter under the user id @phunkidz. Sign up and get the scoop on Mr Spanky and the Phunkidz blog live!

Free Stuff

2009-10-31T12:53:00.001-07:00

You kidz are always aware that the Spankster is on the lookout for the unusual, humorous, or other cool bits of mind candy. There is another side of Mr. Spanky that is cheaper than a Chinese Rolex. So when he finds something free he gets a special tingle up his spine. Over at amazon.com they are giving away free music: 1,351 songs to be exact. You'll need an Amazon account (ask your parents) but you can still get the songs for F R E E. It also comes with a nifty helper app that loads up the music into iTunes so that you don't have to: F R E E and E A S Y!

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Da Blob

2009-10-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

In the 1950s, long before Mr Spanky was a gleam in his Daddy's eye, there was a great push for campy sci-fi/horror films. This involved close ups of spiders, cockroaches, large rubber dinosaur-like creatures and giant amoebas made from soap suds. Great titles like "Attack of the Crab People", "Creature from the Black Lagoon", "The Giant Gila Monster", "Teenage Zombies", and the aptly named, "The Thing That Couldn't Die" filled the movie houses with plots that usually involved teenagers investigating dark places filled with dangerous creatures after they had split up in order to make the searching more "efficient".

None was more famous than "The Blob", a creature that descends onto earth from space in the interior of a meteoroid and engulfs the town's residents including Mr. Andrews the local grocer. Generally, the film is recognized as being "quintessential", which for you kidz means that the special effects would put you into a boredom coma. You do, however, have to put things into perspective, there were no computer-generated graphics in the 1950s. No laptops, CDs, iPods, microwave ovens, cell phones, or internet. Entertainment was watching black and white TV or hanging around with your pal Potsie at the local hamburger joint. So you can imagine that folks at the time would go nuts over some brown jello shots.

Luckily, life imitates art. Or what passes for art. The folks over at National Geographic, who specialize in nature photography and exploration, have posted an article entitled "Giant, Mucus-Like Sea Blobs on the Rise, Pose Danger". That's an attention grabber for sure. It's even more interesting that these blobs can be 100s of kilometers long! And they've been around since the 1700s. What's new is that scientists have finally gotten around to studying them and have concluded that they are not good for you(TM). The harbor all sorts of pathogens, bacteria, and viruses including our old friend E. Coli. Fortunately, a scientist named Farooq Azam, has let on that "few people would purposely swim into a mucilage". That means that if you were frolicking in the Mediterranean you wouldn't dive into a blob of green slime but your brother might throw it at you if he got a chance.

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Adrift

2009-10-01T08:35:00.001-07:00

There's something to be said about firsts. First in line, first in a race, first to create something that's never been seen before. How about being the first to be floating the farthest from a spaceship without a tether?

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What Unicorns Eat

2009-09-23T09:42:00.001-07:00

I've talked about Doug Savage at Savage Chickens before. He ranks as a cartoon genius in the Spankster's book of fun. Today's cartoon involves unicorns. Because unicorns are not real and are funny. Funny-looking, funny-smelling, and funny-haha!

Lego Makes Me Cry

2009-08-21T18:45:00.001-07:00

Kidz, there's a classic set of illusions, including the Penrose triangle (created by Oscar Reutersvard), that look normal at any one junction of the picture but as a whole are impossible. M.C. Escher famously did a number of these in lithograph style and tremendous detail including Relativity in the 1950s.

A sharp eyed iPhone developer that I know sent the following lego instructions for making your own Penrose triangle. Don't blame the Spankster if you wind up crying in your milk after a few hours...

APOD: Astronomy picture of the day

2009-08-19T11:22:00.000-07:00

It's been too long kidz, since I've given you some eye candy to chew on. Nasa, the same guys that brought you the first man on the moon and Apollo 13, also provides an astronomy picture of the day suitable for goggling, framing, or setting as your desktop background. The universe is a beautiful brilliant place and these daily pictures show it. Included is an explanation by a professional astronomer that tells you what you're looking at.

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P.S. for those of you with News Readers an RSS feed is available from the same link

Psychic abilities

2009-07-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

Kidz, I'm always reminding you to use your brain. Be skeptical. Question everything.

Don't get me wrong: Mr. Spanky would like to have psychic abilities. It would be brilliant if I could move a beer from the fridge and the chips from the pantry to the barcolounger without moving. And the chocolate. And the 20 yr old Scotch from the rec room upstairs. Yeah, Mr. Spanky is totally digging his telekinetic awesomeness.

Here's a video showing psychic abilities. A table is set up with a paper pinwheel beneath a glass bowl. The psychic moves the pinwheel with his mind. Astounding! Think a little bit before answering the questions that the author poses on his site:

Does this video prove the paranormal? Note that paranormal is a general term that describes unusual experiences that lack a scientific explanation or that are supernatural.
If this is not paranormal, how was it accomplished?

The answers will surprise you!

Is this a demonstration of paranormal psychic powers or is it bogosity? Eager to find out -> click this link.

Holy Hairy Sasquatch

2009-07-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

I don't have any pithy words for this. It's like a mind virus burrowing deep into Mr. Spanky's old and crusty brain. I keep playing it over and over again. The bouncy music, the tie-dyed version of Big Foot, the faithful "dog", the moss... Please save me.

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Make Your Very Own Mini-Catapult

2009-07-08T08:18:00.001-07:00

You've heard me talk about ballistae before and other much larger siege engines. Ones that you'd want to launch pianos, dead farm animals, and large chunks of masonry from. Despite Mr. Spanky's penchant for the large and destructive today he focuses on the small cool and annoying. But still it's all about siege engines and specifically the catapult.

I really like the Instructables web site: people post things that they actually make with their own two hands, which is an art lost here in our shrink-wrapped bargain store consumer oriented society. This instructable is the step-by-step guide to creating your own mint-launching catapult. The materials are simple: Altoids tin, coat hanger, rubber bands, electrical tape, small piece of cardboard, measuring or other plastic spoon, paint, wire cutters, hot glue, scissors, and pliers. You can find them around the house. The tools you can find in Dad's toolbox and he won't mind if you use them AS LONG AS YOU PUT THEM BACK AFTERWARDS YOU LITTLE TROLL!

Sorry. It's a touchy point. Mr. Spanky's son has been known to leave a trail of discarded valuable tools all over the place like crumbs in a Hansel and Gretel story when he works on his projects. IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT HE CLEANS IT UP, RIGHT? RIGHT?!!!

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Ant mega-colony takes over world and it's our fault

2009-07-02T13:19:00.000-07:00

Humans own the planet, right? We're on every continent, masters of our domain, dealers of justice, and makers of those small plastic tips on your shoelaces. Nothing rivals us, nothing! Bwahahahaha! Sorry, my world domination gene kicked in.

We have competition and not only that we're helping them. From the Earth News desk of the BBC:

A single mega-colony of ants has colonised much of the world, scientists have discovered. Argentine ants living in vast numbers across Europe, the US and Japan belong to the same inter-related colony, and will refuse to fight one another. The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination. What's more, people are unwittingly helping the mega-colony stick together...

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Act now Kidz and save the world! Ask your parents for a magnifying glass and do your part to decimate the ant population on a sunny day.

A Toilet Made of Poo

2009-06-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

A savvy eco-designer named Virginia Gardiner has made a toilet out horse poo called the LOOWATT. Not only that, your poo is then collected once a week with neighboring poo and put into a poo digestor. The poo digestor turns the poo pile into poo diesel. You can use the poo diesel to light your home and cook your meals which you can then turn back into poo. This is like a "circle of life" sort of thing.

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P.S. Mr. Spanky is secretly thrilled that he can use the word "poo" ten times in this short post.

Why Macs are better than PCs

2009-06-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

My MacBook can't do this so I must need to upgrade to a Macbook Pro. Sweet!

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Zooming In

2009-06-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

Kidz,

After a bit of a summer break Mr. Spanky is back in action. His keen eagle eyes and insatiable curiosity have picked out today's science movie, a journey through a deep crevasse in the Mariana Trench at the bottom of the ocean.

Mrs Spanky says, "He's a liar and a crazy old coot."

Ahem. Actually, this photo is a snapshot at 69,000x magnification of something that is, right now, in your head. Not near your head: literally, in your head. You use them every day and you lose them once in a lifetime. Can you guess what they are without playing the video below?

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Yet another product name challenge

2009-06-08T14:38:00.000-07:00

This time from the holding area in Calcutta. Why is Mr Spanky in a holding area for 6 hours? The answer to that question is not as nearly important as to why someone would name their candy Kaju Barfi. Perhaps this person should meet up with the "Ugly Coffee Dome" guy in Hong Kong and start an innovative new business.

Drive new customer adoption through the use of repellent product names! We've helped Sweat Cheese Breakfast Drink, Fermented Kittylitter Clothing, and Crunchy Frog Chocolates become established household names!
Brought to you by Ugly Barfi Inc

Ugly Coffee Dome

2009-06-08T14:36:00.000-07:00

Kidz, at the Starbucks in the Hong Kong airport they had some interesting pastry: Ugly Coffee Dome and Condensed Milk Pocket Panini. Mr Spanky was watching his ever expanding waist line so he stuck to his latte (non-fat). Still makes you curious has to how ugly it really tasted.

Barry Schwartz On Our Loss of Wisdom

2009-05-12T11:16:00.000-07:00

Passed on to me by cerebral and celebrated reader AM, a short talk by Barry Schwartz on our why our reliance on rules and avoidance of common sense (which seems to be increasingly shorter supply) are problematic. For you kidz, there's a section on what is the most important thing for you to learn in school (hint: it is not algebra).

The video is hosted on the TED site. There are many TED talks that are also downloadable from iTunes as videos. Enjoy!

TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from those three worlds. Since then its scope has become ever broader. The annual conference now brings together the world's most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes)...

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How Swine Flu Was First Transmitted to Humans

2009-04-30T15:44:00.000-07:00

Alert reader RO passed this fine picture along. Although the technical details may elude some of you, you can definitely see from this photo how first contact was established.

You can get a relatively up-to-date map of the swine flu incidents here. The more caring of my readers will want to know that Mr. Spanky is taking great care to protect himself: washing his hands, donning a surgical mask, shaving his head, and bathing regularly in Purell.

But his neighborhood is not immune--the local high school has been closed due to a swine flu positive student. Take care, kidz, and keep those hands out of your known portals of entry for pathogens.*

* According to the International Scientific Forum on Home Hygiene these portals are the mouth, nose, and conjunctiva of the eyes.

ABCDEFGHIKJLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ

2009-04-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

This reminds me of an old joke that I'm sure you kidz already know.

Johnny: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Say your ABCs first and then you can go.
Johnny: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z
Teacher: That's nice, Johny, but where's the P?
Johnny: It's running down my leg.

Rhett Dashwood (sounds like a Hollywood rock star name) has way too much time on his hands and has cobbled together an image made from Google Maps photos that has all the letters in the alphabet. Even thought the "Q" is a bit of stretch it is clever which puts it squarely in the realm of Phunkidz material. At the bottom of his piece, you can click on each letter to see where it came from. I think that Rhett has a fascination with Australia.

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Om Nom Nom Nom

2009-04-19T14:55:00.000-07:00

Purveyor of the wild wacky and almost insane--that's the tag line for yours truly, Mr. Spanky. Om nom nom nom, according to the Urban Dictionary is an onomatopoeical adjective based on the sound emitted when something is "oh so tasty" (either through hunger or flavorological value) that one gnaws through it without regard to cleanliness or etiquette. This sort of ravenous eating will often result in an "om nom nom nom" noise being emitted from the eater.

Why is this relevant? Because alert reader MO has passed on the following site as a candidate for stardom on the PhunKidz blog. Can you imagine a site devoted to completely random postings, specifically of pictures where eyeballs and teeth are drawn in complete with the tagline "Om Nom Nom Nom"? I understand. Not until now.

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Your First Car

2009-04-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

One of the things that my daughter, MO, is always on about is what her first car will be when she starts to drive this summer. I keep talking about second-hand Toyota Corollas and other reliable and cheap (yes, cheap!) cars. She's of a different mind. She wants something good for the earth and often talks about hybrids and electric cars (although I think she'd take a convertible Mini Cooper in electric blue if I forced her to). All of this confuses Mr. Spanky. AFAIK, there *are* hybrids but they cost $$$ more than a regular car. There are no reasonably priced electric cars (Tesla and Fisker included). It's an undeniable fact that what burns a gaping hole in Mr. Spanky's wallet can't possibly be good for the earth, unless you want to start turning dollar bills into compost.

My daughter's desires to help the planet and indulge in her God-given right to drive in the US of A are, gasp, unrealistic. Until now. This is brilliant--if Mr. Spanky could claim credit for this invention he would in a heart-beat, that's just the type of person he is. This is a $13K electric car that seats four and, get this, doesn't go faster than 30 mph. Heehee! It's perfect for a new student driver. MO won't know what hit her. Whups, bad choice of words.

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Easter Bunny Gets Hit by Passing Truck, Donates Body to Science

2009-04-08T15:56:00.001-07:00

I hope that he posted all his eggs to FedEx before he passed on otherwise we'll be looking at some empty baskets on Sunday. Or perhaps this is one of his many famous "duplicates".

Note that from this autopsy the mystery of the eggs is solved. He doesn't pack 'em on his back--they're produced internally. Up to you Phunkidz to speculate on how the eggs are delivered into their hiding places...

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Did you know?

2009-03-31T18:37:00.000-07:00

Hello my Kidz!

Today we're going to look at statistics. This video talks about how our society is increasingly exponential. It's exciting or terrifying depending on your perspective. We are living in interesting times!

These types of statistics have had a material impact on my life. Witness the discussion at the dinner table with Mrs. Spanky:

Me: Me sweet little potato peeling, did ya know dat dere are more of dem dere honors students in India than all da students in dis here US of A?

Mrs. Spanky: You daft booger, here's a statistical for ye: dere's 9 in 10 that I'm gonna clock ya with dis frying pan unless ya shut yer gob. Eat your mush.

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Wear Green!

2009-03-13T11:18:00.000-07:00

Phunkidz, it's important that you know where you come from and celebrate your roots. Despite his swarthy skin and dark hair Mr. Spanky does have Irish blood running through his veins, believe it or not. It isn't just the potato cravings or his affinity for woolly sheep either. Witness the discussion with Mrs. Spanky at the breakfast table:

Me: "Aye begora! I found a wee leprechaun in me oatmeal dis mornin'."
Mrs: "You're a daft booger for sure--eat your mush."

If that isn't proof enough then I'll eat a bucket of shamrocks.

Alert Irish reader LO found a charming vid that is just in time for St Paddy's day, which, coincidentally, is next Tuesday. Watch out for Irishmen crossing the street: they're sometimes staggering.

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The World's Ugliest Cat

2009-03-05T16:30:00.000-08:00

WARNING: If you've recently eaten you may want to wait until you have digested your meal before proceeding.

Mr. Spanky does not get up in the morning looking for things like you'll find in this post. Unfortunately, it is still my duty to alert Phunkidz readers to the weird, wacky, and well, no, it's just plain weird.

Hiyaaah! This is one ugly cat. It looks like a cross between a bad wig and a hairless rat. Check out the movie on the site link below to see Ugly Bat Boy in action--creepy.

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Skittles: Viral the Rainbow

2009-03-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

Mr. Spanky adores the new and clever--it's hard tearing himself away from the mirror to scour the web for things like this but he needs to cater to the hordes of phanz that dog the blog. To whit, I just stumbled upon a very clever marketing campaign from the folks who make those little fruit-flavored sugary chewy unnaturally-colored thingees that have that mysterious faint chemical aftertaste.

It uses Facebook to allow people to talk about, comment on, and add to a few ads, fun little apps, and pictures that have been posted. Interesting to see a campaign seeded by the company and then virally taking off with people that can participate. Witness the 585,109 (and counting) fans that are linked to this page and the 1,571 comments they've posted. Whoever the marketing firm is that dreamed this one up gets Mr. Spanky's Golden Award of Brain and a license to print free money.

I especially loved the Tailor ad. There are four guys wearing suits: check out all three mirrors.

Scratch This!

2009-02-22T17:18:00.000-08:00

The other day my curious and creative son and I stumbled across Scratch. Not the regular scratch as in your head, your armpits, or tis but a... Rather, a phun program to create your own stories and games. It has built-in characters, sounds, costumes, and motion.

It's snap together blocks make programming even complex instructions simple and fool-proof. We started simply by having a knight run around bouncing off the edge of the screen. Then we added the dragon, then some simple hit detection to see if the dragon breathed on the knight. It built up over the course of an hour or so into a fun game!

In our game, DragonFire, you are a dragon who has been relentlessly pestered by knights. Your job is to cook Sir Buttkin by breathing fire on him 5 times. Beware Sir Buttkin's friends, who are shooting arrows that could pierce your delicate skin. Enjoy!

If you make your own Scratch game, make a comment in the Phunkidz blog with a link to your game!

A real unicorn

2009-02-09T17:00:00.000-08:00

Most of you kidz should be familiar with the "mythical" unicorn. That fantasy creature that looks like a horse but has a single ivory horn growing from the middle of its forehead. Often seen in the company of elves and other woodland sprites it is said that only a human that is young female virgin can approach or even ride the beast. Mr. Spanky says "Bull!" Sure, scientists and other xenobiologists have searched far and wide for such a creature. Mr. Spanky says "Meh." They're just looking in the wrong place. Horse-like, hah!

Alert reader GO has brought to my attention an article from the Economist where they talk about Dr. W.F. Dove who has fashioned his own unicorn. Horns are not embedded in the skull, rather they start out as buds on the flesh. Dr. Dove understood this and in 1933 created his own unicorn. The lesson here, kidz, is to experiment on animals for phun and profit!*

What did Dr. Dove's unicorn look like? Click the link below to find out.

Link

*Mr. Spanky really doesn't endorse animal experiments so please do not perform chemical tests, transplants, DNA-alteration, substance abuse, or junk food binges with any animals. Just think, you wouldn't want any of those things to happen to you, right? Ok, except for the junk food binging.

Going Hunting

2009-02-03T14:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you come across something so indescribably cute that you get overloaded on the sugar. Luckily, the surprise ending makes up for it all. Check out this YouTube video of Kate Micucci singing "Dear Deer" on her ukelele.

From Ukelele Hunt: There’s little doubt of the link between the ukulele and comic actors. From Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd, through Steve Martin to Adam Sandler and William H Macy. The latest in the list is Kate Micucci...

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Out of this World

2009-02-02T13:44:00.000-08:00

Kidz, if you haven't downloaded and tried out the new 5.0 version of Google Earth I heartily encourage you to do so. Sure, you can skim around our planet and zoom in on your neighborhood. You can go look at the pyramids in Egypt, too. Meh.

This new version allows you to run around on Mars. Simply click on the planet icon in the top toolbar and select "Mars". Go into flight simulator mode and fly an F16 around the landscape. To see the travels of the Mars Rovers, select the "Mars Gallery" layer, open it, and select "Rovers and Landers" and click on the rover of your choice. Click on one of the camera icons to see high resolution pictures that have been taken by the rover. It's amazing.

But wait there's more. Just as the Googley engineers are plying the heavens, they are also looking to the depths of the sea. Go back to Earth (click on the planet icon in the toolbar and select "Earth"). Select the oceans layer. Explore shipwrecks, National Geographic featured sites, and view Cousteau's adventures beneath the sea. You've got to like this.

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Be an Airport Security Guard

2009-01-24T17:39:00.000-08:00

Mr. Spanky is constantly scouring the planet for things. Amusing things. Things that poke fun at the establishment are especially funny. Things that poke fun at the establishment and allow you to remove people's pants are downright hilarious. I just downloaded the game "Jetset" for my iPhone ($4.99US). It's kind of like The Sims meets the TSA. You play a TSA security guard who must remove prohibited items from passengers' carry on luggage and their person. Just like in real life, the prohibited items are constantly changing: shoes, hats, pants, bacon, hummus, spray cheese: these are dangerous items that terrorists could use to commandeer aircraft. You have to be careful, though, to not miss items (security violation) or to remove legal items (rights violation) or to let the line get too long. In this screen shot you can see that shoe inserts, lattes, pudding cups, pants and plastic bins are not allowed (see icons in upper left hand corner). Lots of fun!

One of the things that really peaked my interest was the intertwining of the real world with the game. The game uses the built in GPS of the phone to determine if you are actually in a particular airport. If you play the game in the airport it will provide a special souvenir item that then stays with the game. For example, if you play the game near the San Jose airport it will unlock the microchip (which can become a prohibited item in the game from now on). Ingenious!

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Voice over loudspeaker:

"Susan Adams, Susan Adams, please report to the cavity search area"

"Travelers should be advised that transporting any object through security is unadvised."

"Please be prepared to surrender food and personal hygiene articles for security personnel to dump indiscriminately into trash receptacles."

"John Smith, John Smith, please pick up your underpants at the west security station."

Eat Your Vegetables

2009-01-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

Hobbies, we all have hobbies. Some people like playing music. Eating, we all need to eat. Your mother tells you often to eat your vegetables. Most of the time we deal with those two activities separately. Not this guy. He has a whole series of videos up on YouTube showing vegetables that make you toot. Or rather, that you can toot your vegetables. He's got flutes, ocarinas, and trumpets made from broccoli, carrots, bell peppers, mushrooms, daikon radish, and asparagus. SAY and GO, do you think he could replace your band teacher?

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Naked Scientists and LEDs

2009-01-20T11:54:00.000-08:00

Witness a late night in Mexico: the vibrant decor at Los Helechos, eating chicken in zucchini flower sauce, a Negro Modelo close at hand, a brief pause in the table conversation occurs. My father, engineer and thinker of strange thoughts, asks to the table at large, "How does an LED work?". I mumble something unconvincing about electrons flying into orbit around molecules and losing energy in the form of light. A hush settles over the table and then talk turns back to our time on the beach that day. That question has plagued me for weeks.

In my diligent quest for understanding LEDs I have stumbled upon a gem of a site called The Naked Scientists. The Naked Scientists are a BBC science radio program, podcast, and web site all in one. They allow you to explore science, medicine and technology news, discoveries and breakthroughs being discussed by scientists and researchers today and include interviews with famous scientists of world-class reputation. What a treasure trove!

So how does an LED work? A Light Emitting Diode involves two types of semi-conductors sandwiched together: an N-type and a P-type. The N-type is heavy in extra electrons and the P-type is full of molecules that need electrons (think of these as electron attracting holes). By applying a current to either side, the electrons from the N jump over to the P and fall into the holes. When they do so they give up their extra energy as light. Check out the great description of this phenomenon at the Naked Scientist website.

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Hey, Buddy, Can You Spare a Hundred Billion Dollars?

2009-01-15T08:41:00.000-08:00

One hundred billion dollars for three eggs? No, this isn't a Photoshop moment, this is Zimbabwe. Latest figures from Nov 2008 show an annual inflation of 89.7 sextillion (10²¹) percent. Here in the US, you can buy a chocolate bar for about 75 cents. It would be the same as if that very same chocolate bar jumped up in price to $673,000,000,000,000,000,000 in just one year. I may be missing a zero in there somewhere. Yow, that's faster than Mr. Spanky's ever expanding waistline! Needless to say, this basically wipes out any savings you might have had as a Zimbabwian.

Zimbabwe was once considered the "breadbasket of Africa" but has been in an economic meltdown due to land reforms (confiscating land from white farmers in the early 1990s and causing food output to plummet) and sanctions placed on it by western countries, resulting in a failure to pay its debts to the International Monetary Fund. Coupling that with President Mugabe's disputed reelection in June 2008 has caused the country to collapse even further. It makes our current financial troubles look mild in comparison.

There's a fascinating series of photos on the Sojourner's website that show some of the challenges that hyperinflation brings. Like trying to carry enough money to buy that chocolate bar!

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Hacking Your Brain

2009-01-12T16:53:00.001-08:00

The Boston Globe has a great piece about how to take advantage of those bugs in your wetware. I especially like the Pinocchio-nose trick.

Try these out and then let all of our kidz know what your experience was by commenting on the blog!

DO YOU EVER want to change the way you see the world? Wouldn't it be fun to hallucinate on your lunch break? It's easy to fling open the doors of perception without: All it takes is a basic understanding of how the mind works.

The first thing to know is that the mind isn't a mirror, or even a passive observer of reality...

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Canadian Coast Guard or Roller Coaster?

2009-01-06T09:52:00.001-08:00

Hi Kidz! I hope that your Christmas and New Years was as pleasant as mine was. While you were unwrapping your gifts and playing with your toys I was down in Mexico digging my toes in the sand and perfecting my Margarita recipe*.

My father, Señor Spanky Senior, sent me some incredible photos of one of the Canadian Coast Guard's Self-Righting Lifeboats performing maneuvers off of Tofino, BC which is on the west coast of Vancouver Island. Apparently, these pictures were taken from shore via a tripod during an autumn storm last year. I stitched them together in Photoshop to create an animation to ensure your attention. Click on the picture above for a closer view. Quite the ride!

The self-righting lifeboats are part of the CCGs Search and Rescue (SAR) Program. The CCG's Pacific Region is responsible for 560,000 square kilometers (210K sq miles) of ocean and 27,000 km (~17K miles) of rugged and often inaccessible coastline. This is somewhat longer than Santa's naughty list.

If you have a penchant for being permanently damp you might want to consider a career in the Canadian Coast Guard. Arrr, Billy, have you ever been to sea?

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* Mr. Spanky drinks liquor for medicinal purposes only and in a responsible manner. He's old, he has aches and pains, and the citrus does wonders for his scurvy.

Merry Christmas Puzzle

2008-12-19T10:31:00.000-08:00

As you kidz all know, Mr. Spanky loves a good puzzle. Something to get the old neurons firing at 110%. Our brains need the exercise after playing Wii video games non-stop for three hours resulting in glazed eyes, slack jaws, twitchy fingers, and the beginnings of drool leaking out the sides of our mouths. First, go to the bathroom and clean up. Then come back and solve this puzzle! Many thanks to alert reader MO for providing this fun.

Mr. Spanky, displaying his generous nature for the season, will send to the first person to email in a complete list of correct answers a worthwhile prize. What is worthwhile? A page of Phunkidz stickers and 10 Moo cards to give away to your friends. It will definitely increase your cool factor around the school or at a minimum get you strange looks.

The following Christmas carols were written by government officials. Can you guess the original titles?

My sole desire for the Yuletide season is receipt of a pair of central incisors
Allow crystalline formations to descend
The antlered quadruped with the cerise proboscis
The event occurred at one minute after 11:49pm with visibility unlimited
Ornament interior passageways with large sprigs of a berry-bearing evergreen
Personal nocturnal hallucinations of an alabaster Dec 25th
Jovial yuletide desired for the second person singular or plural by the first person plural
Testimony of witness to maternal parent's infidelity with Kris Kringle
In a distant bovine diner
Exclamatory remark concerning a diminutive municipality in Judea Southwest of Jerusalem
Are you detecting the same aural sensations that I am?
Clappered inverted cups, electroplated
The diminutive adolescent male who plays a percussive instrument
May the Omnipotent Supreme Being bring respite to you, ecstatic distinguished males
Pastoral woolies nocturnally observed in vigilance by herdsmen
"Commence auditory reception" the announcing cherubs vocalize
Who's that mystery kid?

Apple vs PC and the Mactini

2008-12-18T14:41:00.000-08:00

The kidz in my household know that I've given up on PCs: the endless disk defragmenting, spybot cleansing, anti-virus scanning, not to mention the constant software hangs and crashes. As our PCs wear out I'll be replacing them with Macintosh computers. Is it because Mr. Spanky likes the svelte curves and sleek design of these Apple machines? No.

Underneath all that Appley glitter is a plain old Unix operating system. What's Unix? One of the oldest, most stable, and reliable operating systems on the planet. Yup, Mr. Spanky is a pragmatist. He's writing this blog on his MacBook and secretly smiling every time the kidz and wife throw their hands up in frustration because of Windoze. But, he still has to take out the garbage, which in this case means disk defragmenting, spybot cleansing, anti-virus scanning, and rebooting of those PCs. I don't give them more than another 4-6 months before I have to buy new ones...

N.B. Even though Apple has bowed out of being present at Macworld, they still keep on innovating. Witness the latest release of the Mactini, the smallest Mac ever.

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Excavating an Ant Colony

2008-12-12T10:54:00.001-08:00

Mr. Spanky has a heart for nature and the wonder that it holds. He also has a soft spot for insects mostly because they are otherworldly, inspiring, and gross a lot of people out which is just the sort of sadistic motivator that fills his life with joy.

Witness this short clip from the Science channel where a group of scientists attempt to map out an ant colony. Would they do this with a small camera attached to the head of an ant? Would they use modified endoscopic cameras on the end of a bionic arm? Would they carefully dig and expose the colony bit by bit, take measurements and construct a 3D computer model?

Don't be silly. That's too much work. They simply poured 10 tons of concrete down the holes, left it to dry for a month, and then dug it up. I'm sure the ants didn't mind.

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P.S. DAY, no worries, there are no millipedes in this post.

Hero Machine

2008-12-09T22:41:00.000-08:00

We all love to draw and I know of some kidz with grand artistic ability that can sketch out lifelike masterpieces with a charred stick on damp toilet paper in the dark. Mr. Spanky is not too proud to tell you that he is a ham-fisted ween when it comes to drawing. His hands are more suited to the keyboard and mouse than the quill. But creativity and imagination are oozing from every pore of Mr. Spanky's sweaty brow. Is all lost?

Fortunately, there is the Internet. That same medium that brings you the wise words of Mr. Spanky also contains awesome tools for those of us who are drawing challenged. Enter the folks at UGO and Hero Machine. This is slick Flash-based application that you can use to create and dress up monsters, heroes, and villains to your heart's desire.

Enclosed is a sample of a self-drawing before and after Hero Machine. Note that Mr. Spanky exactly looks like James Bond but with more hair.

Enjoy!

Big Buck Bunny

2008-12-04T14:17:00.001-08:00

Once again, Mr. Spanky scores a fine catch. This time, it's a free video titled "Big Buck Bunny" available for viewing and download in a variety of formats (including iPhone/iTouch).

BBB is a gentle soul, delighting in the flowers and butterflies until three rodent hoodlums spoil his fun. Something deep, deep inside him snaps and the forest is never the same.

This is an Open Movie project that is trying to promote an Open Source animation engine called Blender and Open Content Creation. The results look very professional!

Big Buck Bunny is (c) copyright Blender Foundation | www.bigbuckbunny.org

Wordle: Beautiful Word Clouds

2008-11-30T21:40:00.000-08:00

Kidz, have you ever been looking for that perfect title page for your end of term paper? Fear not, the bold and daring eyes of Mr. Spanky come to your rescue. Alert sprite that I am, I found this very nifty cloud tool that will create a picture from the words of your prose: it's aptly named "Wordle".

What is a word cloud? Quite simply it is a graphical depiction of the word count in the supplied text where higher frequency words are shown larger than those of lesser frequency. For example, I've taken Jabberwocky, a nonsense poem by Lewis Carroll, and run it through Wordle as you can see above. If you want to know what a Borogove is, I recommend you read the Wikipedia link, it comes with a handy glossary.

Minuscule

2008-11-23T21:49:00.000-08:00

Funny little shorts by some French animators, "Minuscule" shows us the power of cooperation and rivalry in the insect world. Released as a collaboration between Helene Giraud, Thomas Szabo, and the Disney Channel, they mix CGI animation and real world scenes to create a humorous potpourri of the world beneath our feet. The subtitle for the clips is "The Private Life of Insects" and the stories are charming.

There are 4 DVDs full of insecty goodness in 78 creepy crawly episodes. A perfect Christmas gift for children of all ages if you can actually read French and swallow the 40€ cost. The movies themselves contain no language and as such are universally understandable.

Now Mr. Spanky is more miserly than Mr. Crachet and doesn't like to tease so of course there's more: if you are an iPod owner you can go to the iTunes store, click on Podcasts->Video Podcasts->Comedy->Minuscule, la vie privee des insectes on DVD and subscribe to 20 (and counting) of those episodes for free!

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P.S.: Warning, MA, there are spiders in these clips.

P.P.S.: to all you centipedes out there, break a leg!

My Hovercraft is Clogged with Eels

2008-11-19T10:47:00.001-08:00

Mr. Spanky is happy to report that he now has a Facebook page. I know that many of you kidz are thinking, "This is *so* embarrassing, it's like he just doesn't *get* his target audience. He should have *started* on Facebook." Once again you underestimate the sheer brilliance that Mr Spanky can barely contain in his shiny metallic little cranium.

I can now post to Blogger (i.e. my blog) and it automatically emails out to those of you that are on my mailing list. Simultaneously it posts to my Facebook page. This is just unprecedented genius. You can consume Phun Kidz in any form that you like! And I can be lazy or as adults like to say, efficient. If you are ever in the position where you want to know how to do what I did then send me an email. I will make you pay dearly. In the mean time go to my Facebook page and add me as your friend!

But enough jawing about my amazing skills. Let's get on to the interesting post of today. For those of you that are lucky enough to have an iPhone then you should know that the absolute killer app has arrived. And get this: it's free. As in no cost from the gearheads at Google. It allows you to perform a Google search by voice from your phone. I tried the voice recognition on a number of phrases: "Mediterranean food in Mountain View", "Starbucks in Willow Glen", and "She turned me into a newt". Amazingly, every single one of these phrases was turned from the croaking voice of Mr Spanky into flawless text for Googley consumption. More esoteric phrases like "My hovercraft is clogged with eels" caused it consternation, however. The big question, kidz, is how in the name of Gibil's flaming nethers does this work?

As you speak into your phone, your voice is transmitted to a hundred thousand monkeys on a secret Google monkey farm in some desolate spot in the world like Meat Cove, NS. Each of them wears a headset that shouts your voice into their pea size brains. They are trained to punch a phonetic keyboard with all the basic English sound clusters in response to bananas that hang temptingly from the ceiling. The results are averaged and sent back to Google in order to perform the search. Or something like that.

In reality your voice is transmitted to the Google servers and they use some Text-To-Speech software to break it down and guess what you said. The technology has been around for quite some time and has improved steadily over the years. Google has no doubt scaled it to handle the volume of translations needed. I suspect that they've also allowed the software to learn from mistakes as well. If the speech is not translated exactly the way you want then there is a little drop down with other possible variations that you can select. I bet that once you select a variation then the software "learns" where it made a mistake. See neural nets for what I mean by "learning".

Conceivably, this technology could go both ways. You might eventually be able to utter into your iPhone in English and have your speech broken down to text and then translated to Hindi and spoken using Text-To-Speech software. Just like the Pomegranate. I took the liberty of running the English phrase "Mr. Spanky couldn't see more than that because of the fog and rain." through Google translation services into Hindi and then back to English: "Mr than that Spanky because of fog and rain could not see more." Clearly we still have some way to go.

Who is Mr. Spanky?

2008-11-17T14:03:00.000-08:00

Alert reader SO phoned me within minutes of my last post about the Pomegranate to let me know that that said phone is, get this, a FAKE. It's a teaser that the province of Nova Scotia has put on to let people know that a phone that has everything doesn't exist but there is a place that does. I've been to Nova Scotia. There's lots of trees. And a lighthouse and a ferry. Mr. Spanky couldn't see more than that because of the fog and rain. According to maps of Canada, it has interesting places like "Meat Cove", "Dingwall", and "Tatamagouche". Those places alone are worth a trip. A free limited edition Mr. Spanky Phunkidz T-shirt goes to the first reader that takes a picture of themselves in any of these fine places.

As a result of SO's quick thinking the highly coveted Mr. Spanky sticker sheet is on its way to blustery Canada (not in Nova Scotia) where her two sons can plaster them on foreheads, inside cupboards, and under the toilet seat in order to greet visitors with the handsome metallic visage of Mr. Spanky himself.

I have also taken the narcissistic liberty of creating MOO cards for Phunkidz, featuring my visage, to hand out, for free, to those last few children who may not have heard of me. This no more or less than a charitable attempt to spread the joy of Phunkidz. This has prompted concerns about exactly who Mr. Spanky is given his unusual name. Suffice it to say that there are some people with very sad and twisted minds, kidz, and it makes me feel depressed about the state of our society just thinking about it.

Speaking of your parents, here's the real deal on Mr. Spanky. Mr. is a reference to the fact that I'm am older than you. Spanky is one of the best characters in the The Little Rascals, a black-and-white children's show put on during the mid-1950s. He was the brains and enterprising leader of a down-and-out group of children that ran around causing mischief. In this photo, Spanky is shown on the right. His mother is credited with giving him his memorable nickname which originated from her repeated warnings of what he would get should he venture into trouble.

You might now be thinking, "I get the Mr. and I get the Spanky but why the wind-up robot picture?" Robots are generally cool--especially if they are hurling fire balls and slashing at each other with spinning blades of death. 'nuff said.

You might also be thinking, "Is Mr. Spanky really that old that he was alive during the 1950s? Shouldn't he be dead or at least in a wheelchair with a catheter bag? He probably smells like the monkey on the left-hand-side of the above photo." Simple answer here: no. I'm now thinking that you ask too many questions and probably have homework that you are neglecting.

Pomegranate: the phone of phones

2008-11-13T11:37:00.000-08:00

There are many people that own what they consider to be the phone of phones, the iPhone. Mr. Spanky has succumbed to the marketing spin and carefully polishes the shiny black carapace and wipes the smudges off the glass of his iPhone on an hourly basis. It's sad--there's no doubt about it.

Until now. The Pomegranate offers an eclipse-like leap in technology, usefulness, and coolness that leaves the iPhone looking like a doughy backwoods hillbilly who's had one too many sips of moonshine. There is one problem, however, as it only brews drip and not espresso. I'm sure the 2.0 model will fix this oversight.

I will be busily saving my shekels for this one, Kidz. Once acquired, I will be handing down my iPhone to my children who, although thrilled to have an iPhone, will have a deep yearning that is unfulfilled as they see me "pom"-around. It's just the way that I go about teaching the kids about the value of money and hard work. I'm sure that Dr. Spock will write a thesis one day on this brilliant parenting technique.

Link

N.B. Alert Kidz will note something odd about the Pomegranate. First one to email Mr. Spanky with the correct answer will get a sheet of Mr. Spanky stickers suitable for sticking on your favorite people, pets, and possessions.

Ba Ba Ba Ba Bup

2008-11-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

Mr Spanky is always looking for the next BIG thing. The thing that will turn media on its head and create a new genre, the next invention that will change the way humanity lives and brushes its teeth, the idea that causes small minds to explode just thinking about it.

This is not one of those things. Ba Ba Ba Ba Bup is an M & G production. I can only hope that it becomes a mind worm and causes massive downloads to occur from YouTube paralyzing the internet. Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Link

Nerd of the Year Award

2008-10-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, I consider myself technically literate and pretty handy with a screwdriver in the right circumstances. I can talk acronym soup with the best of them. The term "nerd" is considered a badge of honor in my dictionary. It goes without saying that this next story is the paragon of nerdiness, the paramount proof of nerddom. Can you tell that in my heart I'm jealous of this dude's skzillz?

A fellow calling himself TheRealPfhreak, recently uploaded a video of the game that his girlfriend was playing called Chrono Trigger. Unbeknown to her, he had hacked the game to create a special mountain just for her to explore. As she traveled up the mountain it relived their special moments together culminating with a visit by a knight in shining armor that proposed to her by name. As she turned to him to ask how the game knew her name, he was down on one knee with with a ring in hand. Her first words were "You are such a nerd."

Her next word was "Yes".

Link

Piglet Squid

2008-10-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

The world is full of the strange and amazing, something that Mr Spanky thrives on. There are days when what you see and learn about this little blue and green ball of dirt just makes you feel like a mote of dust in the wide expanse of the universe. A pimple on a flea on the rear end of the dog star Sirius. A mite between the toes of the grand elephant Noogoo who flies through the galaxy by sounding his great trunk of ion propulsion. Or something like that.

Then there are days where creation just shows you that it doesn't take itself seriously. Enter the Piglet Squid. This avocado-sized cephalapod was discovered by the Cabrillo Marine Aquarium in San Pedro, CA in 2006. It's official name is Helicocranchid squid but that's not nearly as fun as its common name. It looks like it got a hair cut at Mr. Spanky's barber, after the barber had an all nighter and didn't have any coffee, and still had those little sandy bits in the corner of his eyes that made it difficult to see, not to mention the hand tremor caused by a headache that is pounding like the incessant beat of a Taiko drum operated by a sweaty little guy hyped up on too many CocaColas. But I digress.

I'm sure the girls that see Mr. Piglet here will want to take him home and cuddle him (although you would need to be 330 feet underwater in order to do so). The boys are still figuring out what would happen if you dropped him like a water balloon off the school roof onto their math teacher. Tentacles, slime, squid juice, and algebra just don't mix.

Enjoy the press release.

Your Very Own Roman Siege Engine

2008-10-01T10:34:00.000-07:00

On the list of Things-That-Mr Spanky-Wants-To-Own-But-Just-Doesn't-Have-The-Money-For there is a new entry. In Roman times, when you were upset with a neighboring city or just wanted to conquer a town in Gaul you would work with your army and build several siege engines. These were large machines designed to hurl enormous stones at high velocities and generally cause a lot of havoc. Sort of today's version of a cruise missile but much less expensive. Recently, some enterprising souls built their very own gigantic ballista and threw around these stones and then decided that they needed the garage space and so they are selling it on eBay! Phunkidz, this is opportunity knocking. Although my wife might disagree, I definitely know that I could use one of these. It's a man thing.

Neighbors playing rock music at 2am and carrying on? No problem.
Bully down the street picking on kidz? Covered.
Mr Sanchez's cat leaving doo doo on your front lawn? Bring it on.

Of course, Mr. Spanky is only jesting. It is never a good idea to throw large rocks via ballista at your neighbors and fellow human beings. Especially if you are going to get caught. The ballista is not exactly a streamlined getaway vehicle.

Link to Ballista Video

There are some great scenes in the Lord of the Rings trilogy that show siege engines at work. I highly recommend that you watch for the trebuchets mounted on the walls of Gondor as they hurl large chunks of masonry out into the orc armies and squish them like little pesky ants. Excellent movies.

Arrrrr: talk like a Pirate

2008-09-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

Kidz,

This Friday, September 19th, is "International talk like a Pirate" day. This historic holiday was invented by John Baur (Ol' Chumbucket) and Mark Summers (Cap'n Slappy), and popularized by humor columnist Dave Barry.

Celebrate by wearing an eyepatch, donning a peg leg, or teaching your parrot to say "Keelhaul! Keelhaul!". I don't recommend taking a hook, sword, pistol, or cat o' nine tails to school, though. The establishment frowns on this sort of thing and if it gets out that Mr Spanky planted this thought in your Phun-filled mind then I'll never hear the end of it.

If you're having trouble with your "Arrr!", "Ye scurvy bilge rat!", or "Swab the poopdeck, me hearty!" I recommend that you get professional help. The folks over at Wikihow have an extensive tutorial that is mandatory if you want to avoid embarrassment.

If you're a fan of Instant Messaging, the folks over at Meebo will make things easy for you. Simply log in to your IM account through Meebo and then type "pirateon" to start. It will handily translate your banal messages into fearsome Pirate Speak.

Remember to growl and scowl often!

P.S. Post-it note cartoon by Doug Savage's brilliant Savage Chickens.

Squirrel Melts

2008-09-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

Here's a great piece on how to live off the land. Are those pesky squirrels harassing you day and night? Is their chittering driving you insane? Here's how you can have your peace and a snack for the big game.

Link

I love it when she says "let's put his cute little butt in there" as she tosses the squirrel into the pot.

You should also know that squirrels are good for putting out forest fires and protecting your beer. Don't pull the trigger too soon.

Stop Motion Animation: Spaghetti Western

2008-09-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

My loyal readers know that as small things amuse small minds so does the wacky and crazy amuse Mr Spanky.

This is whimsical piece of stop motion animation. It's a very laborious art where each frame of a film has to be set up, photographed, and then the next frame set up, etc. You may have seen this technique in movies like Wallace and Gromit where clay is used for the actors.

In this 1 minute 41 second film, this means that at roughly 20 frames per second, we're looking at 20 x 101 = 2,020 different scenes. Ouch! Let's assume that each frame shot takes 20 seconds (or more) to set up, that is, move things into the scene, re-arrange them, take a practice photo, and then a final shot. If that's the case, then this movie took approximately 11-12 hours just to shoot. That most likely doesn't include the time to think up this gem, try out some ideas, and final finishing. One word here: dedication.

Link

Itsy Bitsy Spider

2008-09-09T21:14:00.000-07:00

Simulation is the cure for all fears! This is for MA. A virtual spider to help eradicate her arachnophobic hysteria. I enjoyed setting the slides all the way to the right or left to see what happened to the tarantula. Also check out the "Something for Cats?" link on the left-hand side.

Link

Evolution Meets Global Warming

2008-09-07T18:14:00.001-07:00

Phunkidz,

I'm always ready to leap on the most interesting scientific and natural news and make them know to my loyal readers.

In a bizarre twist of fate, evolution meets global warming in a rush to preserve the noble hunter of the north, the polar bear. Polar bears are increasingly affected by the loss of ice and are now literally changing their coats to compensate. By rolling in tundra lichen and algae pools, the bears better blend in with the melting landscape. Lately, scientists have been seeing births of cubs where the fur is already stained green, and they speculate that the plant dyes are being transfered directly in utero. It's really edifying and slightly humbling to see evolution at work.

Link

Um, okay, I totally made this story up. It's important that we treat everything we see and read on the Internet with skepticism. Any story that you see like this should put you immediately on alert. Are there other sources (e.g. news sites, Wikipedia, etc) that are carrying this story? Does the story make sense from what you've learned in school or heard others say? Do you know a subject matter expert that you could talk to that could confirm the facts? I also always check out www.snopes.com to see if it has been registered as an urban legend. No sense in forwarding stuff to folks and ending up propagating falsehoods. It makes you seem unreliable and, well, stupid or at least naive.

Even worse are those idiots that make stuff up like this in the first place. Wait! Oh, I think I just dissed myself.

Picture of the Summer

2008-09-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

Hi Phunkidz,

It's been a long while and I have to admit that I didn't let you know that I was going to be on a summer break. It's back to school (boo!) and back to blogging for Mr Spanky (yeah!).

As an apology, I'm giving you a picture of the latest in farm machinery that will delight the carnivore in all of us: the cow sharpener. Tired of blunt-headed bovines? Just attach the cow sharpener and let the gears grind your callous cow into hearty hamburger over night!

Teehee.

Link

Nerf Wars

2008-06-24T14:53:00.000-07:00

I mentioned the Nerf Vulcan in a previous post. I want to let those of you that did not get me one for Christmas that it is still on my list. I know it was an oversight on your part and I'm still in the process of forgiving you. My sister has recommended potato therapy, which consists of a bag of potatoes, an open grassy area, and a baseball bat. I can't talk any more about it as I start to tear up at the thought.

Included here for your viewing pleasure is a splendid piece of viral media depicting a Nerf Office War. Note the use of the Vulcan towards the end that tears the enemy team to pieces and the brilliant saving shot by the sniper to take out the machine gun nest.

I wish my work was that phun!

Link

Steve Irwin After Burn

2008-06-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

Crikey. It's a dead guy in full color! Mighty Illusions, whom I've mentioned before, has an interesting illusion today that shows a performance problem with our retinas that is ascribed to a phenomenon known as persistence of vision. Basically the real world, at the nanosecond level, is a bit faster than our millisecond chemical detection systems. Another great example of "good enough" evolution.

In this illusion the Crocodile Hunter himself, Steve Irwin, is shown in black and white, after a few seconds, the picture is shown in negative color, and it is then switched back to black and white. Due to that slowness in our wetware, Steve now looks like he's in full color! You need to stare at the white dot on the crocodile's belly to make this work.

http://www.moillusions.com/2008/06/crocodile-hunter-steve-irwin-afterimage.html

There's another great link that shows this persistence problem in a simpler setting. The rotating pink dot turns green and finally all the pink dots disappear. It's very disconcerting.

http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson/cool/cool_illusion.html

Jawdropping Concept from BMW

2008-06-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

You've got to take a look at this video from BMW that talks about designing the car around a frame and then covering the superstructure with, get this, fabric. Just seeing the headlights get exposed gave me goosebumps. Autoblog has a full write up including over 80 high rez images. Yow!

The BMW GINA Light Visionary Model that was seen via video being installed in the BMW Museum in Munich last week has finally been revealed, and the futuristic design study shows how BMW designers are thinking outside of the box when it comes to the materials that make up a car and also how the car relates to the driver...

Link

J K Rowling Addresses Harvard Grads

2008-06-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

J K Rowling, the author of the fabulous Harry Potter series was asked to perform the commencement address at Harvard University recently. It's an amazing speech and not only good for those graduating students but for most people that live in privileged first world nations. I'm a great fan of her work as it is the quality and depth of the world that she has envisioned and then subsequently written about with consistency and clarity that impresses.

On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination...

Link

Mighty Illusions

2008-05-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

Today is National Illusion Day. Well, no, it's not really. But it should be. If there was ever a need for a day like National Illusion Day it's today. Of course, there's always April 15th, tax day, in which there's the illusion that your tax dollars were yours in the first place and, in the hands of the government, will do untold good for the nation/state but that's different.

I found a great video out on the site Mighty Optical Illusions (a little over-the-top but often has good stuff). It's a demonstration of 10 popular optical illusions in two minutes.

Link

P.S. For those of you that like the Dragon illusion, there's a printable foldable version here.