Monday, October 27, 2008

Nerd of the Year Award

Ok, I consider myself technically literate and pretty handy with a screwdriver in the right circumstances. I can talk acronym soup with the best of them. The term "nerd" is considered a badge of honor in my dictionary. It goes without saying that this next story is the paragon of nerdiness, the paramount proof of nerddom. Can you tell that in my heart I'm jealous of this dude's skzillz?

A fellow calling himself TheRealPfhreak, recently uploaded a video of the game that his girlfriend was playing called Chrono Trigger. Unbeknown to her, he had hacked the game to create a special mountain just for her to explore. As she traveled up the mountain it relived their special moments together culminating with a visit by a knight in shining armor that proposed to her by name. As she turned to him to ask how the game knew her name, he was down on one knee with with a ring in hand. Her first words were "You are such a nerd."

Her next word was "Yes".


Friday, October 24, 2008

Piglet Squid

The world is full of the strange and amazing, something that Mr Spanky thrives on. There are days when what you see and learn about this little blue and green ball of dirt just makes you feel like a mote of dust in the wide expanse of the universe. A pimple on a flea on the rear end of the dog star Sirius. A mite between the toes of the grand elephant Noogoo who flies through the galaxy by sounding his great trunk of ion propulsion. Or something like that.

Then there are days where creation just shows you that it doesn't take itself seriously. Enter the Piglet Squid. This avocado-sized cephalapod was discovered by the Cabrillo Marine Aquarium in San Pedro, CA in 2006. It's official name is Helicocranchid squid but that's not nearly as fun as its common name. It looks like it got a hair cut at Mr. Spanky's barber, after the barber had an all nighter and didn't have any coffee, and still had those little sandy bits in the corner of his eyes that made it difficult to see, not to mention the hand tremor caused by a headache that is pounding like the incessant beat of a Taiko drum operated by a sweaty little guy hyped up on too many CocaColas. But I digress.

I'm sure the girls that see Mr. Piglet here will want to take him home and cuddle him (although you would need to be 330 feet underwater in order to do so). The boys are still figuring out what would happen if you dropped him like a water balloon off the school roof onto their math teacher. Tentacles, slime, squid juice, and algebra just don't mix.

Enjoy the press release.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Your Very Own Roman Siege Engine

On the list of Things-That-Mr Spanky-Wants-To-Own-But-Just-Doesn't-Have-The-Money-For there is a new entry. In Roman times, when you were upset with a neighboring city or just wanted to conquer a town in Gaul you would work with your army and build several siege engines. These were large machines designed to hurl enormous stones at high velocities and generally cause a lot of havoc. Sort of today's version of a cruise missile but much less expensive. Recently, some enterprising souls built their very own gigantic ballista and threw around these stones and then decided that they needed the garage space and so they are selling it on eBay! Phunkidz, this is opportunity knocking. Although my wife might disagree, I definitely know that I could use one of these. It's a man thing.
  • Neighbors playing rock music at 2am and carrying on? No problem.
  • Bully down the street picking on kidz? Covered.
  • Mr Sanchez's cat leaving doo doo on your front lawn? Bring it on.
Of course, Mr. Spanky is only jesting. It is never a good idea to throw large rocks via ballista at your neighbors and fellow human beings. Especially if you are going to get caught. The ballista is not exactly a streamlined getaway vehicle.

Link to Ballista Video

There are some great scenes in the Lord of the Rings trilogy that show siege engines at work. I highly recommend that you watch for the trebuchets mounted on the walls of Gondor as they hurl large chunks of masonry out into the orc armies and squish them like little pesky ants. Excellent movies.