Thursday, April 30, 2009

How Swine Flu Was First Transmitted to Humans

Alert reader RO passed this fine picture along. Although the technical details may elude some of you, you can definitely see from this photo how first contact was established.

You can get a relatively up-to-date map of the swine flu incidents here. The more caring of my readers will want to know that Mr. Spanky is taking great care to protect himself: washing his hands, donning a surgical mask, shaving his head, and bathing regularly in Purell.

But his neighborhood is not immune--the local high school has been closed due to a swine flu positive student. Take care, kidz, and keep those hands out of your known portals of entry for pathogens.*

* According to the International Scientific Forum on Home Hygiene these portals are the mouth, nose, and conjunctiva of the eyes.

Saturday, April 25, 2009


This reminds me of an old joke that I'm sure you kidz already know.
  • Johnny: Can I go to the bathroom?
  • Teacher: Say your ABCs first and then you can go.
  • Johnny: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z
  • Teacher: That's nice, Johny, but where's the P?
  • Johnny: It's running down my leg.
Rhett Dashwood (sounds like a Hollywood rock star name) has way too much time on his hands and has cobbled together an image made from Google Maps photos that has all the letters in the alphabet. Even thought the "Q" is a bit of stretch it is clever which puts it squarely in the realm of Phunkidz material. At the bottom of his piece, you can click on each letter to see where it came from. I think that Rhett has a fascination with Australia.


Sunday, April 19, 2009

Om Nom Nom Nom

Purveyor of the wild wacky and almost insane--that's the tag line for yours truly, Mr. Spanky. Om nom nom nom, according to the Urban Dictionary is an onomatopoeical adjective based on the sound emitted when something is "oh so tasty" (either through hunger or flavorological value) that one gnaws through it without regard to cleanliness or etiquette. This sort of ravenous eating will often result in an "om nom nom nom" noise being emitted from the eater.

Why is this relevant? Because alert reader MO has passed on the following site as a candidate for stardom on the PhunKidz blog. Can you imagine a site devoted to completely random postings, specifically of pictures where eyeballs and teeth are drawn in complete with the tagline "Om Nom Nom Nom"? I understand. Not until now.


Monday, April 13, 2009

Your First Car

One of the things that my daughter, MO, is always on about is what her first car will be when she starts to drive this summer. I keep talking about second-hand Toyota Corollas and other reliable and cheap (yes, cheap!) cars. She's of a different mind. She wants something good for the earth and often talks about hybrids and electric cars (although I think she'd take a convertible Mini Cooper in electric blue if I forced her to). All of this confuses Mr. Spanky. AFAIK, there *are* hybrids but they cost $$$ more than a regular car. There are no reasonably priced electric cars (Tesla and Fisker included). It's an undeniable fact that what burns a gaping hole in Mr. Spanky's wallet can't possibly be good for the earth, unless you want to start turning dollar bills into compost.

My daughter's desires to help the planet and indulge in her God-given right to drive in the US of A are, gasp, unrealistic. Until now. This is brilliant--if Mr. Spanky could claim credit for this invention he would in a heart-beat, that's just the type of person he is. This is a $13K electric car that seats four and, get this, doesn't go faster than 30 mph. Heehee! It's perfect for a new student driver. MO won't know what hit her. Whups, bad choice of words.


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Easter Bunny Gets Hit by Passing Truck, Donates Body to Science

I hope that he posted all his eggs to FedEx before he passed on otherwise we'll be looking at some empty baskets on Sunday. Or perhaps this is one of his many famous "duplicates".

Note that from this autopsy the mystery of the eggs is solved. He doesn't pack 'em on his back--they're produced internally. Up to you Phunkidz to speculate on how the eggs are delivered into their hiding places...